Goodbye to Tubby My Baby Boy

It pains me to write this since I so don't want it to be true but we had to say goodbye to Tubby.  

What initially seemed to be a urinary infection turned out to be prostate cancer that caused complete blockage of the bladder. This cancer is rare, my vet has seen it only one other time in twenty years. Unlike other prostate problems it happens to neutered dogs like Tubby.  It's very painful so our decision is clear. There were few warning signs, perhaps a little slower walk, until Tuesday when he couldn't pee.  I know I am lucky to have had 14 years, his birthday was March 29, but coming so soon after Norbert this is doubly hard.  The house feels empty even with 4 dogs and I just feel old and sad sad sad. I can say I am so happy to have Weasley and Fry having two young dogs keeps me going.  Months from now I'm sure they'll have a little brother. Maybe named in honor of my Tubby boy, Tubby TNG perhaps  ( a Star Trek reference).    

I can't write a fitting tribute to tubby. He was my first dog, a wedding present, I was 23.  For 14 years he was by my side.   I can't put the love I had for him in words 

From the house dogs grave by Robinson Jeffers, 1941

"You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard 

To think of you ever dying. 

A little dog could get tired, living so long.

....

You were never master, but friends.  I was your friend.  

I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures 

To the end and far past the end.  If this is my end, 

I am not lonely, I am not afraid. I am still yours."